Weird baseball stories

Thankfully, no one in the league I ump for is quite this stupid.

Someone(s) got busy in a Minute Maid bathroom.

Start lifting weights so you can shave

I've been saying for years that the adding of blades to razors is getting out of control. Now, the Economist even shows that the time evolution of blade number follows a hyperbolic funtion. Thus inside of ten years we will have a fourteen-blade razor.

Diabetic Babelfish

I know I've shared this link before, but never blogged it, so some of you haven't seen it. It's a list of translations for "I have diabetes." The Arabic structure is funny (literally, "I have the sugar disease") but the Scots Gaelic is the best--literally, "The diabetes is on me." Get it off! GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!

New Gear is Great

Well, I got to break in the new umpire gear tonight. Could be my imagination, but it certainly felt lighter that the league gear I'd been borrowing. Especially the mask, which I've got adjusted so I can actually get it off consistently without sending my hat flying. Handy.

And lo, did I need it tonight. Took one bounced pitch off of the arm, two bounced pitches off of the cup, and a foul ball off the clavicle guard. The league chest protectors don't all have arm guards, let alone the extra clavicle piece like mine has.

It was a good well played game, with no crap from the coaches. I think I'm going to be happy with this investment.

177 Outs in 28 Hours

Two five-inning umping games, followed by two Nationals games...that was a lot of baseball this weekend. Some of it was even played well, although there were a couple of little league plays at the big league level...the anthem today was sung by some pre-teen female trio that dubbed themselves "Clique." They were good, but, um...do you want to be self-portrayed as elitist jerks?

I have finally ordered my own plate gear, so I guess I'm in this for the long haul. You don't drop $300+ and stop doing it...unless you're 12 and it's guitar or ballet or mountain biking or something.

I've got to work on backing up, and getting away-from-the-ball obstruction in my field of view though. I've seen too much borderline stuff on the periphery of my vision, I'd better start nailing people on it. I'm happy with my strike zone these days--still needs a little work on consistency, but it's better.

And if I find the people who are spamming the comments, I will beat them with new shin guards.

This Is Where Liking Cricket Gets You

For upwards of twenty years, it would seem that a troubled Florida man has been passing himself off as English nobility. In England, nonetheless, so that shows you how on the ball they are. He stole the name of a long-dead infant, and even a legitimate coat of arms that had fallen into disuse. And he's still refusing to admit who he really is, although authorities have an idea now.