Things you should see

Courtesy Metafilter, so you may have seen them, but anyway:

--Andy Maskin's living will, conceding power to decide continuation of life should he find himself in persistent vegetative state to the United States Congress. Notable primarily for the elaborate and ridiculous tiebreaking procedures.

--Songs in list format. For example, part of "Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)":

# Things which we don't need:

* no education
* no thought control
* no dark sarcasm in the classroom

# Things the having of which is dependent upon the eating of meat:

* pudding


Scroll through the pages for "Rainy Day Women #12 and 35" (aka "Everybody Must Get Stoned"), "Why Does the Sun Shine?", "500 Miles", "Love Shack", "Closer"...you can find the rest.

"It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" turns out not to be that good except for this:

Le

* onard Bernstein
* onid Breshnev
* nny Bruce

o Not afraid

* ster Bangs

"Stand" works nice though.

Somebody did "We Didn't Start the Fire" but didn't segregate it by year (as the liner notes do). Alright, I'm done scrolling for now, your favorites are probably in there.

EDIT: On page 20, somebody alphabetized "We Didn't Start the Fire."
Brilliant!

The Amazing Race 7--"I've Been Wanting a Face-Lift for a Long Time"

I do want to see the old couple go, but not like that.

Although, I'd rather see Ray and Deana go first.

And it will probably be non-elimination anyway.

Sex drives technology

Yes, stem cells could cure paralysis, Alzheimer's, diabetes , the organ shortage...but let's use them to make breast implants.

In all seriousness, I do suppose this provides a market to fund the technological advancement, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I do think about the collection of new impotence drugs in comparison to the dearth of new antibiotics, and wonder if letting the Invisible Hand advance development is enough...

Leaving Los....Er..

There's a "Leaving Las Vegas" and a "Leaving New York" but I can't think of an LA one. I do have a lot of grab bag type notes to make, but checkout is in an hour so look for them sometime this weekend.

Adam's talk went well, and then I snuck off to see the cold fusion crackpots. Aiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!! I will write more on that this weekend too.

I really didn't see as much of LA as you'd like, but it really is supposed to be a conference and not a vacation. Also, you can't get anywhere, say the way you can in Montreal or Seattle, without auto transport and a major investment of time. Oh well.

They're expecting more storms today, so hopefully my plane will get out. It's United 202 if you want to keep tabs on me.

It will be good to be home. I hear there's sun in DC; apparently there's none in SoCal.

Melting in the Dark

Yes, at the suggestion of Brian W., I'm making you contemplate this horrible song. I'm only about 1.3 miles away, but it is indeed raining right now and I don't have a cake to leave out. I'll never have that recipe again...

(EDIT: I forgot to mention the untruth of this other Brian W. suggestion:
It Never Rains in Southern California)

It is in fact pouring, and there's been lightning, which I think doesn't happen out here very often. This killed our afternoon plans to lounge in the outdoor pool. In fact, it appears I may be staring rain in the face the rest of the time out here. Yep, Sunny California...and the news just said there was a 3.4 earthquake near Manhattan Beach. Never felt it. I sort of would like to feel a mild one, just to know what it was like. Add that to my hurricane junkie status, and you might think I'm a disaster maven. I hereby swear that I want to experience none of the following:

House Fire
Stampede (human or animal)
Workplace Shooting
Industrial Accident
Nuclear/Biological/Chemical weapons
Direct Tornado hit (though seeing the funnel cloud might be cool)
Bank Robbery
Jeb Bush presidency

Didn't see much at APS today, though the talks from the Nagel Lab @ UC were good. The Grier Group reunion dinner is tonight, though we may be swimming there...I'll see if I can get pictures to post. I did write to Congress to encourage them to fund science. You should, too, so I will get to stay employed.

Hotel Kahl--ee--fawrn--ee--ah

Bring yur ahleebyes...

I just saw a commercial promoting The Governator's education policy, featuring the Austrian goofball himself. I have officially left the country, if not the planet.

The talk went well today, if a little long. But I was smooth and the questions were good, so it's cool. I may now commence with the part-ay.

I did find out next year's meeting is in Baltimore, which is disappointing because I can go to Baltimore any frickin' weekend I want. And it won't have hockey, continuing the pattern of concentrating all March Meeting hockey fun into last year:

98 Minneapolis (before the Wild started)
99 Atlanta (we didn't go)
00 Seattle
01 Indianapolis
02 Austin (even the "Ice Bats" were out of town)
03 Montreal (OK, that was fun)
04 LA (yes there's a team that plays 5 blocks away...but we knew there wasn't going to be a season)
05 Baltimore

Also continuing a March meeting trend, the poster I specifically went to see in a poster session wasn't up. I wouldn't have walked back to the Convention Center at all except for that...

Speaking of hotels, the Wilshire Grand is current Hatblog headquarters, with wireless in the rooms, two bathrooms in the suites (nice for two people)...pretty cool. No pink champagne on ice, though. I was going to go to the pool when done blogging, but I was distracted watching my fantasy baseball team run out of healthy limbs, so I guess that makes me a prisoner of my own device.

OK, I'll take song nominations to work into the next few posts in the comments. All I've got left is "I love L.A." and "L.A. Woman." And since I don't think I love L.A...I may have to switch to movies and make some Lebowski references or something.

This ain't no disco...

This ain't no country club either.

This is L.A.

Expect this kind of inanity all week, as I blog from the APS March Meeting is Los Angeles, California. Hey, it's called for. I stumbled across "California Dreamin" by the Mamas and the Papas twice last week, and Adam saw a documentary on PBS by the same name. I'm not sure we're safe and warm.

The flight out was OK, except the in-flight movie was The Incredibles, which I'd ran out and bought last Tuesday so I could have it on the flight.

We'll definitely be blowing our per diem, as everything we've seen in downtown LA is hideously expensive. Although we haven't tried the fast food or chain restaurants, which weren't open Sunday night. I wouldn't be surprised to drop $20 at Denny's though, just on location.

We had to walk past the Staples Center, where the Lakers were playing last night, to get to the convention center and register. There were numerous ticket scalpers, several street vendors appearing to fry hot dogs wrapped in bacon on heated cookie sheets, a one woman handing out cards good for a free topless lap dance. (Not from her, or at least not right there.) And bunches of dorks already wearing their badges. Stop it, people! This is how we get a bad name. Do not wear your badges outside. I decree it.

We did find an über-trendy bar. We had to go up an escalator, wait for an elevator where a video was projected on the wall, making me think of the Museum of Contemporary Art, and then ride an elevator to the roof. The bar on the roof featured movies projected on another building (including The Incredibles again), odd decor such as red hippopotamus trash cans, 3 covered waterbeds in one section, and lots of people trying to be cooler than they probably are. And eight dorky physicists, who really didn't even try to be cooler than we were. Oh, and a $12 (!) Glenlivet. I enjoy Scotch enough to forget that I spent an insane amount of money on one drink, but only after I actually drank it. I remember now, though. (!)

My talk is later this morning, so hopefully tonight's update will contain a positive status report.

The Amazing Race 7--"What a Gaucho You Are"

Expect me to stay clear of the comments until I return from LA (see above).

The Amazing Race 7--" Do You Need Some Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation"

Depends who's asking...

The Amazing Race 7--"The Whole Country Hates Me"

What? Jonathan's back?

Snow alert!

Here's an article about how hopped up on panic goofballs the DC metro
area got yesterday over an impending snowstorm. Supposedly, it was
supposed to start at 1am Monday and by the late afternoon anywhere
from 4-10 in. would be on the ground. The upper range of that is a
fair bit of snow, but the lower...not so scary. Unless you're from
the frickin' South, like I am now (more on that in another post)

Anyway, schools were cancelled Sunday night, and I woke up at 8 in
anticipation of a snow day...and not a flake had fallen. The schools
were still closed, mind you, and federal agencies were on an
"unscheduled leave" policy (i.e. they weren't closed, but you could
take a vacation day without having given prior notice of intent to do
so.) Without a flake on the ground. The only flakes were the
newscasters, whom the WaPo skewers in this
piece of satire.

It did start snowing...once I got out of the car at work. The
District officially got 2.5, and parts got up to 5 inches. What gets
me is the above article is the back-and-forth bitching by the parents
and schools. The schools begged off responsibility, saying they could
only go by the forecast. Um, folks, real winter weather places
actually haul their butts out of bed at 4am and decided then. Like
you morons should be doing. The parents, meanwhile, are complaining
b/c we also had snow days last week, and they're out of ways to occupy
their kids. Oh, and that they're "eating them out of house and home."
Um, folks, turn in your children and your parenting licenses
immediately. You create life, you're responsible for it, not the
school district. Public schools are not supposed to be babysitting
your kids--no wonder they're going to hell, if this is the parental
attitude. Take "unscheduled leave" and play with your kids in the
park, or make Popsicle stick houses or play Sorry! or Chutes and
Ladders or something. Make them a grilled cheese sandwich, 3 days
worth of which is not busting your budget. Teach them to do it
themselves, if they're old enough.

Should I get to be a father, I hope like hell I never start expressing
attitudes like I read about here.