Happy Solstice!

Whatever you may be celebrating, enjoy the fact that the days in the Northern Hemisphere are getting longer again.

I am headed to the ancestral homelands for a few days before Christmas, and job applications may keep me busy a bit when I get back, so I taking this as an "announced vacation" of the posting schedule until after New Year's. Maybe I'll get one in, maybe I won't, but for sure in '06 it will be back the two-a-week minimum.

One 6'3" 245 lb Reason to Root Against Team Canada

Todd Bertuzzi, sucker-puncher par excellence, was named to Canada's Olympic hockey roster. I'm not terribly pleased by this; I was disappointed he was playing already this season--if it were up to me, I'd have let him sit 41 games this season (and maybe train with the team, but not see game action, for the last ten of that.) That would have felt right to me. Anything starting with 20 would have been acceptable.

But implicit in all of that would be that wasn't welcome on the Olympic team. True, he's already missed 2 world championships, the 2004 World Cup and was prohibited from going to Europe during the lockout. But, as much as the spirit of friendly (if intense) competition that I understood the Games to be about is mostly gone, I think Bertuzzi's actions were just too chickenshit to allow him on the stage. True, it's not my country he's representing, but he's a walking embarrassment to hockey and its community. I would be rooting for Team USA anyway--my jingoism only comes out for international sporting competitions--but I can say I'll be disappointed if Bertuzzi gets to wear a medal around his neck. It will just remind me of the brace Steve Moore had to wear around his.

Tampa Report

Wings win, 6-3. I spent approximately 28 hours in Florida and never saw the sun. I saw them literally carving housing developments out of the swamp from the descending plane. I mean, I knew this is what they did, but it was still odd to see dense greenery intercut by creeks and small ponds, surrounding a housing development next to a equally sized clear-cut area (obviously the next development) adjacent to it. Oh, and pools, despite being surrounded by swamp and bay. And they're surprised they get alligators in them....

We had a great time at the game, and just catching up. Lightning fans, in general, seemed pretty knowledgeable, and definitely into the game. There were fewer Red Wings fans that there were in DC last Friday. The homers directly behind us were real homers, as in "we should never have a penalty called on us and every breath by the opposition is a penalty" type. But they weren't too obnoxious and the row of Wings fans we were in got to rise to our feet and cheer a goal six times. And thanks to the little blinking ornament they handled out at the game, and Shane's method of storing it in his back pocket, they got treated to blinking ass every time.

The St. Pete Times Forum is a loud place though. They don't skimp on the decibels, and Shane compared the goal horn to the Titanic about to crash into the stadium. It's a decent place to see a game though.

Meeting of the Blogs

I am headed off to Tampa to meet up with Shane, proprietor of The Perveted Mule, for the Detroit Red Wings-Tampa Bay Lightning game. Should be a good matchup of the winners of two of the last three Cups. Of course it is dangerous to have us in the same place at the same time; remember, control of the Manistee High blogs goes to Mike if we are taken out.

I'll be back late Sunday, so early next week should have a report on the game as well as any mobile strip clubs we can get to the hotel parking lot.

Politics and Baseball

I don't elect anyone to legislate over entertainment industries, like baseball. So I was pissed about the steroid hearings, not because I'm pro-steroid but because there are a lot of better things to focus on.

This one is not directly Congress's fault, but they do keep the useless Cuban embargo going: The Cubans will not be allowed to field a team of (not-yet-defected) players for the World Baseball Classic. This is just crap. We can't even have a friendly baseball competition?

The Amazing Race 8 is Finally Over

The Hope girls are still in it. I could handle the Linzes winning. The Weavers winning would be an abomination to all that is good and holy, of course. So no doubt they will win.

The first job application...is away

Well, one job application is out, and the second just needs its cover letter to go out tomorrow. Then I've probably got a week if I think of anything to add to the package. I kind of like my statement of teaching philosophy, at least as well as I can in the abstract. If I get a chance to be completely in charge of a class or eight, my thoughts may have to adjust. As for the research part...I dunno. We'll see. It might be a little vague, but I won't worry too much about it because it's not for me to determine.

You'd think it would be awful to have to send one priority envelope at this time of year, but the nearest post office has an ATM-style machine with scale for those not afraid of technology. Had to wait behind one slow guy, 5 minutes in all.

The Amazing Race 8-"The Family Christmas Card"

Posting this near the end...at least the Detour was cool. Roadblock was a payola thing and kind of stunk.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

No, not Christmas/Festivus/etc. NFL Playoff Scenarios are out!!

I'm just fascinated by all the bizzare combinations of wins and losses (and ties! don't forget ties!) that can lead to states where the bizarrest of tiebreaker conditions are fulfilled. Best net touchdowns, division, anyone?

The Amazing Race 8--"Don't Talk to Me Like I was an Animal or Something"

Sorry no post last week...no, not really. My hate for the Weavers burns with the fury of a thousand suns. Which is just what they want.

And your Xbox freezing up represents the Rapture

(Yeah, that was an unannounced posting absence, but I really was on vacation home. Sue me.)

OK, I know every movie needs its damn computer game tie-in now. But I'm a little wierded out by this rule applying to that Christian semi-allegory, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Is playing through the game now symbolic of your journey through sin to redemption? I'd let this go, except they are now prominently advertising going to the game's website to get the cheat code. Now, this seems wrong somehow--wouldn't Aslan and/or Jesus want you to defeat the game honestly? And what could the cheat code represent in the allegory? My suggestion is that it represents selling indulgences. Share your suggestions in the comments.

Colored Soap Bubbles and a New Class of Dyes

Even for those of you not terribly interested in surfactant physics/chemistry, this is a bitchin' Popular Science article on a years-long quest to make colored soap bubbles--ending in a clever set of new temporary chemical dyes.

And you Thought I Was Kidding About That Civ Addict Thing

New Scientist:
"Excessive computer gaming has the hallmarks of addiction"

To be fair, they do seem to have picked their controls right--studying gamers who have not reported social problems from their hobby with those who have let gaming interfere with work in socializing. So this is not some anti-gaming "think of the children" crackpot stuff.

That being said, it's not surprising: lots of things can be addictive without a chemical trigger. I just find it funny the silly "Civanon" ad campaign apparently has a real life counterpart.

Now if you'll excuse me, the Romans are encroaching on my territory, and I have to spend three or four hours kicking their butts across the continent.

Imminent Carousel

If you see any Sandmen coming, give me a heads up, will ya?














Oops. Too late.

The Amazing Race 8--"You Look Ridiculous"

Two hours tonight. Lord, if it is Your will, get rid of the Weavers.

Civic Duty

For whatever odd reason, Virginia has state officer elections the year after the Presidential cycle. So I get to vote tomorrow. I don't think I've voted at a booth since...I'm not sure when. I know it would have been at the pink firehouse in Manistee (I know it's red in that photo, but it used to be this color)...I think during the 1996 Presidential primary. But the question then is why would I have been home from Hope? Winter or Spring break, maybe.

Anyway, since I never got around to voting in Chicago, all my balloting has been absentee since then. Tomorrow I get to walk to the elementary school across the road and stand in line. Should be fun. At least the annoying advertising will end--Republican Jerry Kilgore is trying to paint Democrat Tim Kaine as inhuman or something, when it's Kilgore who was used a grieving widow to call Kaine "soft on the death penalty, as Kaine opposes it on the basis of his Catholic faith. The spot actually has a policeman's widow on the verge of tears, upset that Kaine would be against executing her husband's murderer. (I mean, I'm sympathetic, but this is part of the reason the laws are left to representatives duly elected by the body politic, and not by people necessarily running on emotion.) At any rate, I found it to be a cheap, pandering, disgusting ploy by Kilgore--and while I certainly would have agreed with the Democrat on most issues most of the time, had the roles been flip-flopped I could not have voted for Kaine. I was that turned off by the ad.

Jacques Demers

News came out today that former NHL coach Jacques Demers is illiterate. Wow. That one's hard to believe--he even had some GM duties for a while, meaning he was getting assistants to handle the details of contracts for him. That would sound possible, except for the fact that no one but his wife knew about it. The reason for his illiteracy can be traced to the horrible circumstances of an abusive upbringing. I have to be quite impressed that he seems to be one of the guys who came out of awful circumstances relatively alright. And that you can manage to hide it and apparently no one thought twice about it.

The Amazing Race 8--"I'm Sick of Doing Stuff I Can't Do."

More Godlewski multiple-underwear madness!

CBS really needs to work on their adds; I didn't especially want to find out during football on Sunday that it was in __________. Of course, maybe that's all they've got to sell this season...

The Makers of Civilization IV care about their customers

Civilization, the classic computer game encompassing all of history, is back. The fourth release came out this week and I picked it up yesterday.

I am quoting directly from the manual here:

The Clock Options Screen lets you turn on and off a clock to time how long you've been playing, as well as set an alarm to let you know when you should stop playing and go to work. Or eat.

Of course, they had the fabulous ad campaign at civanon.org which appears to be down (overwhelmed or ended, I'm not sure.) I'm happy to announce that the game seems no less addictive and I made good use of my extra hour this weekend. In particular, many of the more tedious actions have been removed, automated or at least present you with more choices so that it's not A, B, repeat.

So if I vanish for a while...yeah, you know where I am. I just have to get my civilization to research Gunpowder...

The Amazing Race 8--"We're Getting Out of the Country, Girls"

I can get the titles now from my digitial cable, but unfortunately they spoiled their destination for me. It is indeed out of the U.S.; I'm not sure it's exciting. And I'm pretty damn sure someone will make me ashamed to be an American.

No Pain, No Gain

Gain: Thanks to a concerted effort at laundry today, I have reacquired visual on my bedroom floor. (This is not to say it's all done--the hampers are full--but it's all where it needs to be.)

Pain: I pulled my lower back at some point doing it.

Worse Pain: I'm still sore from touch football yesterday, and the back was the only thing that wasn't hurting.

Of course it was touch football about two hundred feet from the Washington Monument, so that was pretty cool. Sadly, we won't be going back there--when this group used to play there before they renovated the grounds, it was pretty flat; now it's not. There are some flatter spaces in West Potomac Park, so that's where we'll be from now on.

I'm still impressed so much recreation--football, sunbathing, jogging, Frisbee, etc.--takes place right in the midst of the corridors of power. It's a neat symbol of the openness of our society and our government. Well, at least in the idealized case of our government, as opposed to the current incarnation thereof.

Hmm...I thought this was going to be a "whether I have anything to say or not" post, but I guess it came around to a point. Fancy that.

The Amazing Race 8--"Think Like an Office Chair"

OK, I'll try...

"Holy crap, this guy has a fat ass."

I couldn't agree more

Amazon.com decided to remind me that I've bought Elvis movies for my mother for holidays past.

So they sent me an email.

Subject line: Amazon.com recommends Girls! Girls! Girls!

Slow TV Technology Adopter

I'm surprised how slow I've been to start utilizing the features of my cable box completely. I still don't usually start watching something halfway through so I can zip through the commercials, although obviously I do that if I tape it. (You can get a hockey game down to 90 minutes that way, so that may be the way to go. I might consider also taping the last 1/2 of 1/3 of west coast Red Wings starts, and finishing it over breakfast.) Only recently have I started pausing live TV to answer the phone or run to the kitchen, and replaying goals and close calls and such in slow-motion. Just now it occurred to me I could use the picture-in-picture to follow both the ALDS and Monday Night Football.

Seriously, I feel I should be quicker on the uptake with all this...

The Amazing Race 8--"I Don't Kiss, I Make Out!"

Heh heh...hope for me and the Hope chicks yet.

This week's US Heritage lesson will include NASA. And probably regurgitation.

Yes, someone got paid to design this

In honor of hockey restarting, let me present the goofiest major professional sport logo ever:



Trust the Gorton's Fisherman!

Let me also add that NHL Center Ice is awesome, and I intend to never leave my couch again.

The Amazing Race 8--"How Do We Know We're Not Going to Get Shot?"

Gettysburg, Manassas, or Antietam?

Smart money's on Gettysburg. Antietam was the bloodiest, and might fit the stretcher theme best. Manassas is the only one I've been to.

They've got to be coming to DC in this very special Americana race, so I'll let you know if I can do any lame location scouting once we've seen it.

Oh, and you're not going to get shot because it's a freaking game show, you lamer. Whoever provided the episode quote will be excused from my pathetic wrath if they are under 12.

The end of the Nationals season

Well, we had quite a good time at the ballpark on Sunday. They didn't put on a great showing, but there were a lot of Phillies fans (?phans?) who came down to watch their team and to scoreboard watch, seeing if the Astros would lose and force a playoff. So naturally we chanted "Let's go Astros!" a lot.

The cheerleader in front of me--this is the hummus guy I blogged about before, and whose approval I have apparently won--managed to get chants going with all of his friends for each fielder, in succession, until they acknowledged our section. That was pretty dorky cool, actually. And they even got on Mr. Church ("Who's your rab-bi?") and he promptly hit a homer. Which even I had to cheer.

The team took the field--after letting Philly finish their post-game self-congratulations--to further rousing standing ovations. It was quite the feel-good close to a feel-good season, despite it ending with a sweep at home.

So the Nationals hit what I thought was their absolute upside, at .500. It's a little disappointing that they do it by going 50-31 and then 31-50, but I can't complain. It was a heck of a summer. I'll definitely get tickets again next year, maybe in a pool. We'll see.

Time for the baseball playoffs--starting tomorrow at 1, in Stevis's annual week of seriously reduced production--and hockey season.

Transcendent Importance

Senator John McCain at today's steroid hearings:

Don't you understand that this is an issue of such transcendent importance that you should have acted months ago?

Funny. I'd say the same thing about securing the levees in New Orleans. Or perhaps ensuring that important government posts are filled with competent people. Or, you know, exercising oversight power over the President's use of the military. I sure as hell wouldn't say that about an entertainment option that no one is obliged to support at the federal level. (Yes, of course, sports teams do extort awful sums of money from state and local governments...)

I love baseball, but this is not an issue of "transcendent importance." Vast swaths of America couldn't give a crap, especially when so much of the focus was the integrity of the game as opposed to "think of the children" which at least you can squint your eyes and justify.

Banned Books Week

To keep with my "real post" commitment, I'll remind you all it's Banned Books Week. Check out the list of 100 most frequently banned books of the 90s. How many have you read?

I've read 14 (4,5,7,13,22,37,41,47,56,70,77,83,84,97). Actually, number 97 (The View from the Cherry Tree) was read to us in 6th grade, but I'm counting it. Once again I find myself amazed that the public school system in Manistee was as non-repressive as it was--for a rural education, we could have had it a lot worse. I do remember one board member trying to pull The Catcher in the Rye (#13) from the cirriculum, and it not even getting to us protesting at the board meeting, as all the other board members laughed it off.

The Amazing Race 8--"Go Mommy, Go! We Can Beat Them"

Aiyee...that title fits with all the fears we have for this season.

Anyway, here's the Spoilerific Discussion Thread to bitch...or be pleasantly surprised.

Nah, to bitch.

I'd wanted to use the fan votes to calculate betting odds of elimination and of winning, but the CBS site isn't doing polls right now.

Hatblog's slight rooting interests lie with the Bransen family, as they have Hope connections. Go Dutch!

I have one fewer National to root for

I wanted to point out this article in the Washington Post about chapel service in baseball, particularly with the Nationals. Services are organized by a group called (appropriately enough) Baseball Chapel.

Now, let me say that I don't think religion is inherently a bad thing, and I don't find fault with people who find strength in it. I certainly don't think it's a bad thing to set aside a place for non-mandatory services for the athletes whose job scheduled pretty much preclude a normal in-season worship routine.

However I am going to find fault with this:

The players not only pray, but they also discuss personal matters -- marital tension, addiction issues, family illnesses, financial stress -- drawing sometimes surprising lessons. [Ryan] Church was concerned because his former girlfriend was Jewish. He turned to [chaplain Jon] Moeller, "I said, like, Jewish people, they don't believe in Jesus. Does that mean they're doomed? Jon nodded, like, that's what it meant. My ex-girlfriend! I was like, man, if they only knew. Other religions don't know any better. It's up to us to spread the word."

Yes, Mr. Aptly-Named, you were blessed with a monopoly on religious truth. All the beauty, inner peace, strength, and grace afforded by other faiths is crap and the vast billions of this ignorant world need the pearls of wisdom you dispense, if only they could reach up to your perch upon your high horse. And aren't you glad you dumped her, Mr. Church? You'd hate to be lying down with the infidel.

Now I know this is a news piece, and Church didn't go seeking attention, preaching from dugout roof or anything. So I'm being unfair by holding him up as an example of an attitude I despise, without any specific actions to criticize. Well, too bad, I feel like sounding off: Shut up, live your faith, judge not lest ye be judged, and play baseball. It's the sheer condescension in his statement above (and in the chaplain's attitude) that really cheeses me off.

That, and the fact that despite my relatively high opinion of Church as a ballplayer, he still couldn't hold these guys' jocks. But, you know, if only they knew.

Avast!

Best be ye not fergettin', today (the 19th) be National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Hoist a mug o' grog, ye bilge rats, and unfurl the Jolly Roger, or I'll se ye keelhaulled. Arr!

Rafting Report--Alive, Pancreas in One Piece, A Little Low on Adrenaline.

The rafting was awesome. We floated down the Gauley river, surrounded by forested canyon walls on a perfect day--sunny, low 80s, just a bit of haze to shroud some of the more distant peaks. This was the first weekend of a three-week period when they release a large volume of water from the dam above the river, in an agreement to give a set period of quality rapids. (They used to release the water anyway for management purposes, but eventually the rafting outfits realized they could make a tourist season if they asked the authorities to do it at a set time rather than "sometime in the fall.")

There's nothing I've experienced quite like bouncing over 3-4 foot high swells which are more or less standing waves set up by water rushing over the rocks. I took a couple of broadsides from walls of water, but it really wasn't too hard to stay in the boat, despite the stories below. Then again I have a nice low center of gravity. Going through a rapid that is an 8-10 foot drop over about 100 feet is something that I'd have to recommend you try at least once. And it wasn't all that scary. Now, the 10 foot waterfall on the Upper Gauley...yeah, I don't know if I'm up for that.

The rapids were swift but we were guided well, although we dumped two people in one of the Class V's (Upper Mash) when we grazed on rock on the front right and our front right passenger flew into our front left passenger, and they took a spill. We had to yank them back in. Yours truly did a fair share of the yanking, thus proving that I know which safety lectures to listen to and which ones are safe to ignore. That was by far the freakiest part; as we were still in the middle of the rapids, trying to get people back in, with very little ability to control our path while we were focused on rescue. But it turned out just fine. We also lost two people (Bess and the poor front right passenger) when our guide missed a rock as she was watching another stuck boat in fairly still water. But that was an even easier rescue. Nonetheless, we clearly earned our merit badges in "yanking people from the water."

I definitely can recommend our outfit, Class VI, as we were well lead and well fed.
It worked out well for my insulin pump, as our tour leader's husband was also and insulin pump user--and raft guide. So she had plenty of experience in keeping a diabetic safe. (For the record, we threw the pump and my meter in a "dry box", and kept it safe there, and pulled it out for lunch.)

If you think this sounds cool...well, you're right, and I'd highly recommend you check it out.

Hatblog: Remote From the Mountain State

Who knew you could get the Internets in West Virginia? Well, OK, I did, since I saw my hotel had free wifi (like I said at Christmas, this should be an expectation and not a perk at this point.) Anyway, why the hell am I in Beckley, WV tonight? Pete talked me into meeting him and his lovely bride Bess to go whitewater rafting tomorrow. I've never done that and it should be fun, as long as I manage not to break my $5,000 pancreas. I will gladly sacrifice bones, short of my skull, to not break that. I do have a hardened, plastic, waterproof enclosure for it. Or perhaps I'll take it off and take shots at lunch and after the trip. I'm not sure yet.

I had my first Google Maps failure, as it decided to confuse the "Hylton lane" this hotel is on (which is course the access road in the middle of hotels, Applebee's, etc.) and a Hilton lane which acquainted me with some of those 16.4% of families below the poverty line the Wikipedia article mentions. But hey, it's not a real vacation until you get lost, right?

Ranting at CNN

I've ranted about this before, but I haven't blogged it, so there.

Which one of these "Breaking News" emails they sent me yesterday (I am signed up for them) is not like the others:

-- New Orleans mayor issues order authorizing the forced removal of people refusing to leave the city.

-- Louisiana Superdome, where thousands were stranded after Katrina, is likely to be torn down, state official tells CNN.

-- Actor Bob Denver, 70, of TV's "Gilligan's Island" fame has died, his agent tells The Associated Press.

Oh, yes, let me stop what I'm doing and weep. Gilligan is dead.

Seriously, they consider it a news alert all the time when some two-bit celebrity has died at a sufficiently old age, and it irks me. Rehnquist, Pope John Paul II...these are deaths worth alerting me of. Given everything that's going on, this should even make the news, let alone bother me with.

Also this morning, I don't know who the weatherman was, but he was talking about Tropical Storm Ophelia, and had to comment, "Hmm. Unusual name. Don't know about that." Way to whip out that classical training, there, sir.

Sticking My Fingers in My Ears, Chanting "La-La-La"

As if my outrage fatigue wasn't bad enough, Will's all over a lot of the issues, The First Idiot is staging photo ops in the middle of the disaster, and the statements he and FEMA director Mike Brown have made to the effect of "no one could predict this" are discredited by...oh, well, two posts down, and all the news organizations linked therein, and the experts they quote...oh hell, Jeff Masters says it better in his new Katrinablog:

A horror unimagined by anyone, except by every hurricane scientist and government emergency management official for the past forty years and more. It was a certainty that New Orleans would suffer a catastrophe like this.

So, one last comment which forms a segue into talking about something else, and then I am going to perform metaphorically the title action of this post for a bit. Bush went back to New Orleans today...and at the Nats game, we clearly saw Marine One go overhead on the way back. At 3:52 PM EDT. When I know, from watching CNN this morning, that he was in the White House at 8 AM. Nice trip. The nation's got a fuel crunch, and he can't even be bothered to stay long enough to hand out a blanket or something.

Segue: Nats game! They won 5-2 and still hot in the wild card chase. Let me tell you, even if it's a holiday, there's nothing like being at the ballpark on a sunny weekday afternoon. Especially if the doofuses around you want Livan Hernandez pinch hit for in the 8th, despite the fact that any healthy body on the bench who is actually better than him has already been used, and he comes through with a two-out single to key the rally that breaks the game open. Good times.

Also spread the smile vibe: My hovercraft is full of eels. Just because.

Aftermath

You've probably satisfied your need for Katrina knowledge before coming here, but I feel like posting a follow-up, given what's happened...

With the levee breaches--two of them now, apparently--Steve Gregory's blog at Weather Underground terms it "a 'slow motion version' of the worst case scenario for New Orleans." A lot of the info I'm going to collect here for you comes from somewhere on nola.com, which is the home for the Times-Picayune, (author of the report Wilhite sent me):

--60,000 people in the Superdome, as hotels have sent their guests/refugees there; (and the aforelinked Steve Gregory reports that the occupants are getting restless)
--Fires have started which can't be attended to (you'll recall similar things happening in Grand Forks, ND after flooding in 1997
--Looting has started
--Devastation photos can be found here, mostly with AP photos though, as the T-P staff has had to evacuate their offices after the levee breaches
--Martial law has been declared in various places (and not Marshall law, which is presumably Adam throwing people in jail, as an understandably frazzled nola.com staffer let slip by earlier today.)

There's little to no water, sanitation, or food, and they'll need to be displacing even more people soon. I'd suggest if you can swing it, try to give a little something to the Red Cross or other acceptable organization.

One last thought: The nola site probably ought to take down the text ad proclaiming "FLOOD INSURANCE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

By the time you read this, there may not be a New Orleans

Update 9:43 pm 8/28: Now 4th largest storm on record; Dr. Masters' blog:

I put the odds of New Orleans getting its levees breached and the city submerged at about 70%.

Edit: photo removed as weather event ending--Stevis 8/30/05

That's Category 5 Hurricane Katrina, currently bearing down on New Orleans. It's already the sixth strongest measured hurricane ever in the Atlantic. Here's the Weather Underground forecast for Monday in New Orleans, as of post time:

Widespread showers and scattered thunderstorms. Hurricane force winds. Some thunderstorms may produce damaging winds and heavy rainfall. Locally heavy rainfall possible. Highs in the upper 80s. Northeast winds 60 to 90 mph with gusts to around 125 mph becoming northwest and decreasing to with gusts to around 115 mph in the afternoon. Chance of showers and thunderstorms 90 percent.

That is the epitome of a calm statement about complete devastation.

Now, I'm not being facetious with the title of this post. New Orleans is below sea level, and protected by a large network of levees from the Mississippi flooding. Of course, if that system is breached--say by a huge storm surge--the water isn't getting out. The pumps which clear the city of ordinary rainfall would be submerged and useless, and you'd end up with a giant lake full of swamp critters and toxic waste. This article discusses the issue; I first saw these points as a feature out of a New Orleans paper some years ago but can't find it now.

So, in conclusion, I'd wait until late next week before making your Mardi Gras plans.

Link Post #12 & 35

Yeah, it's just a link post, but it's things I thought were worth sharing.

This guy wants to use Green Flourescent Protein to make deer more visible at night.

Jim Caple's essay on the steroid era calling into question all records and Hall of Fame status. No, not baseball--football.

I'm a sucker for shallow, one-note, rimshot-style political commentary. Enter The Ministry of Reshelving.

Stevis posts. Also in News: Trumpets Sound; Cats, Dogs Lie Down Together.

Alright. I come to you with a new commitment. Twice a week posts, minimum.

Yeah, that's not exactly setting a standard for journalistic output. But I will post at least twice a week, whether or not I have anything to say. And this will not count the TAR threads. And you all have my permission to call me a piece of crap if I fail to live up to this, unless I mention a specific absence due to vacation or work related trip in advance.

I figure if I at least put it in print somewhere, I can feel guilty for not living up to it, and then I may actually post to avoid that feeling.

So what can I talk about here that is not about me? Well, in baseball news, the Cubs are out but don't know it yet. I'd thought of driving to Pittsburgh (Coop!) over Labor Day weekend, but I need to get my car fixed to do that, and if I do I probably shouldn't spend money on the trip. Oh well.

The Nationals are improbably still in the wild card hunt. I haven't heard that they want my money for playoff tickets yet, but they almost certainly will take a deposit, earn interest on it, and hand it back if they don't make the playoffs. They do have the most remaining home games of any of the contenders, but their early-season home field wonders haven't carried over. Which is not surprising, of course.

That's all for now. There will be more. Really. I mean it.

Spoilerific Discussion Thread--Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The ground rules: You enter the comments section, you take your chances. Don't go in until you've finished, and if you post there don't worry about spoiler tags. I might not be in for a bit as my folks are in town this weekend....but I got quite a ways in before shutting it and going to bed last night...

I picked up my copy at the party held by A Likely Story, in which they turned the small Amtrak stop down the street from their store into Platform 9 3/4 (by covering the two glass doors with butcher's paper painted to resemble brick, so you had to walk between the bricks once you opened the doors. Neat.) They then lined everyone up in houses (i.e., they'd sorted the pre-orders) and marched, post-opening-feast style, down the street to the store--complete with a cop stopping traffic for this motley procession.

Anyway, happy reading.

My Parents are not allowed to follow this link

Specifically, as they are flying out to see me this week, they should not read thisreport from the Guardian about uncovering embarrassing secrets about the airline industry.

Nothing about dangers, mind you--except pilot boozing which you know about--but the question of what is done with people who die on long-haul flights is...intrestingly answered.

Friends in High Places

If you don't routinely check the blogs I link to, let me bring your attention to the following cool news:

Goatdog is taking his movie reviews and going pro with them. I'm now honored that we used to write a review column together back in high school and am preparing stories for the inevitable roast of him we will have in thirty years.

Will got a letter to the editor about the Iraq situation published in the New York Times.

Ok, my excuses

Now that Brian gave his, here are my lame excuses for not posting:

1. Connectivity issues

My cable modem has fritzed frequently, not to be restarted by mortal tech support, only to restart inexplicably. Today I had a tech out who noted a couple of reasons why my signal might be low, but no idea about the modem. Grr. I think I've lost about a half of a month of service already...and had to eat at Panera a couple of times.

Pi. Trip out of town

Last weekend, I was out of town for my cousin's wedding, and stayed through until Monday morning to spend some time with my grandparents over Father's day. It was good. But I didn't have the laptop...

I will note that I flew from Reagan airport to Ford airport.

6.02 x 10^23. Been busy

Last week, shopping for father's day, the wedding, packing, laundry, etc. The week before, the last week of umpiring, and I was being run quite busy then too. But at least I got a nice home plate-shaped plaque of recognition from the league for that.

i. Second job as a delivery boy. I have honor; there are no pictures of me.

Nationals Update

Tomorrow, for the first time since 1933, DC wakes up to a first place baseball team.

We had the local SABR chapter meeting at the ballpark yesterday, and Jamey Carrol was recruited to talk to us. He was pretty cool for a tiny utility infielder having to fill in as an everday second baseman. He's also been hustling his butt off and scoring runs in bunches, including the game winner Friday night and go-ahead run on Saturday.

We'll see if the scoring at RFK starts to pick up now that it's finally gotten hot today, and looks to stay that way...

Am I really the first of the "bloggers I personally know" to discuss the Deep Throat news? Apparently. I guess I don't personally know any bloggers of sufficient age to have been aware through Watergate, but still, we've all see the movie, yes? (No, not that one. And incedentally, I wonder what the rejected pseudonyms were. Thank goodness there was no Back Door Sluts 9.)


I have nothing to add, of course, other than to note I'll probably pick up a paper copy of the Washington Post tommorow--Woodward's story will be available online, but this just feels like something you should read with actual newsprint in your hands. It's the long-awaited epilogue to the whole mess.

I also can't believe the likes of Pat Buchannan and others are whining that Felt is somehow a traitor for betraying "his" administration. Last I checked, the FBI should only be responsible to the truth and to the people. Given that the White House was obstructing the FBI, what was he supposed to do to at least do his duty in the ethical sense? To me, these attacks just speak to the hubris of the American right both then and now, and how they typically care about their own power bases more than the responsibility of governance.

This soapbox looks rickety, so I'll get down now.

Rule 7.08 (d)

Here's the play, and don't cheat and look at the rule:

Bases loaded, pop fly just foul down the first base line. Runner on first started on the hit (base coach was yelling at the batter to run, and confused the runner), and was six steps off when the ball was caught by the first baseman. The first baseman steps on the bag, and the runner returns and is not tagged. Is the runner out?


< spoiler space>











Of course he is, by the rule cited in the title:

[Any runner is out when] failing to retouch the base after a fair of foul fly ball is legally caught before that runner or the base is tagged by a fielder. (emphasis mine; © 2004 Little League Baseball, Inc.)

The italicized portion was what one of the assistant coaches was misinformed about--for some reason he thought that on a caught foul ball the runner has to be tagged, not the base. The head coach of the batting team, who is a good guy, didn't manage to ask us before the next pitch, which meant a protest couldn't be lodged. Which was great for me because it would have been paperwork for me to fill out to prove I was right. But anyway, he, another ump who has a (I think) grandkid on the team, and this assistant were insistent that I had it wrong. I offered to get the rulebook after the game and show them for their education (I didn't know the rule number right off the top of my head, but I was certain I was right.) So there isn't an incident that I'm here bitching about--the head coach, whom I showed the rulebook afterwords, admittedly he wasn't as familiar with the rules minutiae as he thought his helper was, so he defered to him and backed his position.)

What I want to ask the Teeming Handful (that means you) is have you ever had, or heard of anyone having, this misconception? I mean, missunderstanding the infield fly rule or something fairly uncommon like obstruction or a fair ball hitting the runner doesn't surprise me. Sometimes the rules aren't perfectly intuitive but if you think about them they make some kind of sense. I just cannot come up with a way in which the wrong interpretation I was confronted with tonight makes any sense whatsoever. (I mean, if the runner runs to second without retouching first, this guy's position says you have to chase him down with the ball.) And since I've never encountered it before, I'd like to know to if I'm being snooty thinking this guy (though definitely polite about it) was completely off his rocker.

Apartment Living

UPDATE: Not a Blogger login problem, but somehow the picture link was replaced with a blogger post link. I would swear that there's no way I did that, but it's far more likely than Blogger randomly messing with me. Anyway, it works now.

My mom wanted to see a picture of my new couch. So here it is. Why use bandwith when you can let IKEA do it? Plus my couch already has piles of crap on it. This one doesn't. I always thought showrooms should be more realistic that way--there should be piles of magazines you have to move, and some of the couches should have jelly stains and such, so you can see how it will look in the long run.

My aparment complex had "resident appreciation week" last week, and I got a free umbrella. It doesn't sound that cool, but I didn't own one, so even though I'm advertising them in a not-too-garish manner when it rains it's kind of handy. It needs to be about three inches longer though so I can do the semi-cool trick of using it as a low grade walking stick in between sprinkles.

This is the best I can do? Man, I need a life.

Trip through the Rotation, Part 5--Nineteen Up, Nineteen Down

Game 5, 5/17/05, Wes Obermuller (82, 24) vs. Claudio Vargas (14, -12)

WP--Obermuller
LP--Vargas

Seating: Section 523, Row 2, Seat 13, though I actually sat a few seats away b/c 11 rows were comprised of NRL people, so we sloshed around.
Hat: Red Nationals Home cap (script W)

One great pitching performance and one lousy one. Vargas got shelled in 1 1/3 and only threw 44 pitches by my count; Brady Clark hit the first pitch for a homer and Carlos Lee finished him with a three run bomb. in fact, due to back spasms from Patterson, he'll start again on Friday on only two day rests. Obermuller on the other hand was perfect through 6 1/3, and one of the hits was a fly ball that should have been caught but Geoff Jenkins lost it in the lights. Fortunately that was not the first baserunner.

Tomo Okha actually had a hell of a "start" in relief--5 2/3, 2 hits, 0 runs, would have scored 67/13.5 as a start.

As I figured, I was the only one from the lab I noticed keeping score. I meant to go with a less overdone and pitch-tracking scoresheet, but baseballscorecards.com was down, and the newsprint scorecard in the program isn't very good, so I printed out my technical one anyway. It's not as if the fact that I'm an obsessive geek is a state secret or anything.

I think I actaully managed to keep a couple of people who were present more for the camaraderie than the baseball from leaving while the perfect game was still a possibility. I kept stressing how this was unlikely but historic and they'd hate to miss it. Either that or they were just happy to have another overpriced beer.

So I saw 5 games in about 99 hours, made 4 Metro rides and one car trip, saw the teams I was rooting for at the time go 2-3, saw a couple of multi-error innings, watched some great and some lousy baseball, and had a pretty good time. I'm a little tired and ready to eat a meal that doesn't come in a bun or a plastic container at this point. I also definitely need to catch up on bills, apartment cleaning, etc. and grab some down time at home. Thanks for coming along.

Patience

Yeah, yeah, I went. I'll tell you about it later tonight.

Trip through the Rotation, Part 4--A Penny for the New Guy

Game 4, 5/16/05 (Happy Birthday Mom!), Doug Davis (38,5) vs. Tony Armas, Jr. (60,10.5)

WP--Armas
LP--Davis
S--Ayala
H--Majewski

Seating: Section 406, Row 6, Seat 13
Hat: Nationals Road Cap (Navy, Script W)


A treat for the Astro folks, as Tom Wopat was our Anthem and 7th inning singer.

As I forgot my pencil at work and lost my pen when it lept from my clipboard on the Metro escalator, I was forced to buy another overpriced pen at the ballpark.

I admit I was losing it a bit today--Davis and Armas work kind of slow, and I'd gotten to the park earlier enough to swing down for a Foggy Bottom Pilsner, and this being the fourth game in about 75 hours I was a little drowsy. At one point I heard the guy behind me rattle off a pitch count for Davis that was about six lower than what I had, and I wondered if I missed anything. Heck, I'm not even playing, and I'm starting to see why amphetamines can be popular in the clubhouse. Then again, they're not umpiring or working a regular job at the same time, and they are getting trainers and professional massueses. So too bad; I say they should stick to caffeine and anti-inflammatories.

I considered not going, but I was thinking of you, readers. Yeah, my tough life. I may put my next ticket (May 31) up for sale though; it's only the Braves, who I've already seen and don't care for, plus I may decided to see the Tigers at Baltimore the weekend before. I will have seen five of seven games on this homestand. I will also probably ump Wednesday and Thursday, so by Friday I will seriously be ready for something not baseball.

The official scorer was also asleep, as a popup that bounced off of Christian Guzman's (aka Neifi East) glove in left field was scored a double, while the three-hop bunt that Nick Johnson laid down that Davis couldn't come up with was ruled E-1. With four of us keeping score in consecutive rows we had a good laugh or two about that.

The guy in front of me was there yesterday too, and for the second straight day he had hummus and pitas. Alright, tasty enough, dude, but you're at a frickin' ballgame. I mean, hummus and pitas at a ball game is kind of un-American. But he redeemed himself when, just after I was a bit annoyed that he's a get-a-chant-started-kind of guy and screaming for Vinny Castilla, he cheered on just-acquired outfielder Marlon Byrd with a chant of "Let's-go-new-guy!." Byrd responded with a 380 ft., 2-rbi double, so for that and giving me a post title, he gets a pass. Byrd ended up 3-4, 4TB, 3 RBI.

Castilla, rapidly moving up from his season-opening least favorite player status, smacked a home run off the back wall of the left-field bullpen. Not to be outdone, ex-White Sock (Sok? Sox?) Carlos Lee smacked one off of the advertising on the facing of the upper deck above said bullpen. But that would be the last run, and while Majewski provided a scare in the 8th (loading the bases after Jose Guillen nonchalanted a ball in right for an E-9), the Nationals hung on to win 5-2.

For the first time I noticed the white seats in the 500 section in RFK. There are a couple out there still painted white to mark spots where Frank Howard landed a few titanic shots. Someone was talking about them and I managed to follow their pointing and catch them in the sunset. Maybe that's where I missed six pitches...

Davis struggled, going by my count 107 pitches in six innings, but he has a bitchin' pickoff move. He picked off Brad Wilkerson in the first before even throwing a pitch to Jamey Carroll, and had me guessing and the Nats leaning the wrong may most of the game. Unfortunately for him he should perhaps throw less often to first and concentrate more on throwing to the plate.

Trip through the Rotation, Part 3

Game 3, 5/15/05, Greg Maddux (38, 5) vs. John Patterson (39, 8)

WP--Carrasco
LP--Bartosh
S--Cordero
H--Ayala

Seating, the usual Section 406, Row 6, Seat 13. Next to some guys who came in the 3rd and left in the 8th. Grr--morons.

The Cubs lost today on a little league inning, as Clint Bartosh gave up one run on no hits but two errors by Ronny Cedeno at second base. This right after driving in the tying run...but boy it makes for a bad looking inning. Maddux had already fallen apart the inning before--he threw seven straight balls, something I'm not sure I've ever seen him do.

When the Cubs tied it in the top of the 6th, Carrasco was brought into get the last out, which was Corey Patterson popping up on the first pitch. So Carrasco gets a one-pitch win, and the Cubs continue to swing at anything that doesn't bounce.

Jason Dubois had another two hits. I like this guy.

Sadly, I missed one at bat today while running to the bathroom. I wouldn't have it the concession stand people could keep the lines to less than the width of the concourse. Screwed up my pitch count on Maddux...but I don't thik he made it to 70 anyway.

I drove in to the game today, instead of taking Metro as is my custom, because I didn't want to get up early enough to make sure I was there on time. I actually think I get home post-game a little quicker by car, but I guess I prefer waiting out the people on the Metro to sittting in stop and go traffic. I'll probably drive again tomorrow since I'll be halfway there at work anyway.

Trip through the Rotation, Part 2-Electric Storm Boogaloo

Game 2, 5/14/05, Carlos Zambrano (GS 41, FP 8) vs. Livan Hernandez (66, 14)

WP--Hernandez
LP--Zambrano
S--Cordero

Seating--Section 216, Row 2, Seat 7
Hat--Ryne Sandberg day commemorative hat, Blue Cubbie C with "Sandberg 23" to the right of that. That's old school--most of the U of C connected contigent who read this blog weren't even at Chicago yet, hell, I hadn't technically started at that time--Sept. 21, 1997.

A couple of scattered thunderstorm cells delayed the start of Saturday night's game from 7:05 to 9:43. I just got home(1:41 am), so I'll write up what I feel like and edit/add tomorrow after the game--at 1:05 pm.

I manged to avoid getting wet almost entirely. It wasn't raining when the Metra dipped underground north of Alexandria, and when we popped out the other side of the Pentagon I couldn't see across the Potomac. By the time we got to t the stadium--albeit, I took the second transfer train to avoid being sardined--it had stopped. They had the tarp dumped and were starting to fold it about the proper game time, when they were told to get it back on--and it didn't rain for about an hour, but when it did it was another strong squall, which I got to watch roll in from one of the ramps. It was quite an impressive event and I'm glad I got to see it.

That stopped about 8:40, with the rain finally tapering off about 9 while they were starting to prep the field. Tonight they had an AAGPBL vet (who had a cameo in the film) throw out the first ball.

Here are a few quick additional thoughts:

--The Cubs drew no walks, and hacked at first pitches several times. No wonder they're three under .500.

--Both starting pitchers left in injury situations. They were supposed to have rebuilt the mound while the Nats were away, because it was causing problems. I wonder, given the rain, if they still don't have it right. I'll have to scan the Post over the next couple of days. (Quick check: Z, "tennis elbow", Livan, knee soreness.) FURTHER UPDATE: Zambrano's seems unrelated to the mound, but related to the 130-plus pitches he threw last Sunday...he has an MRI coming up. I hate Dusty.

--For the second time in seven games I've seen, they forgot to close the gate in center field before the first batter stepped in. Nice job, guys...

--A relief pitcher was allowed to bat. You don't see that every day.

--"All for one" did not work tonight.

--Foggy Bottom Brewpub Pilsner is really good. I'll miss it when going back to the upper deck peasantry.

--Livan looks even more huge close up. Well, duh, but you know what I mean. He's a big guy but a great athlete.

Trip through the Rotation, Part 1

With the Cubs in town, one of my season tickets on Monday, and the NRL buying a block of tickets for Tuesday, I have an opportunity to see five consecutive Nationals games live, which of course takes me through the entire rotation. So I figured I'd make this a Hatblog Event (also known as "getting off of my lazy ass and posting for once in my freakin' life..")--5 games, 5 nights, 4 seats, 5 hats.

Game 1: 5/13/05, Glendon Rusch (Game Score 47, 7 Fantasy Points) vs. Esteban Loaiza (56, 13--and for Most Improved Sexbomb to boot)

WP: Ohman
LP: Ayala
S: Wellemeyer

Seating: Section 215, Row 2, Seat 9
Hat: Cloth Cubs C, a little dusty from softball

Tonight was the night to honor some Negro Leauge veterans, including Ted "Double Duty" Radcliffe, the oldest living such person (102). He also threw out the first pitch, by which I mean he tossed the ball from a golf cart about 4 in. to one of the Nationals coaches. Hey, if I'm 102 and possessing enough faculties to grip the ball I'll be happy. Naturally, during the on-the-Jumbotron trivia contest they select one fan to do in the middle of the 3rd, it was all about the Negro Leagues--and they selected a white guy. He got them all right though, and seemingly without the help of yours truly, who was seated right behind the aisle where they do it and unfortunately got his mug on the Jumbotron. Oh well. I did note with some glee that the cameraman, the contestant, and the happy interns they put there to express cheerleader-like glee all got in the aisle and crouched down with two outs in the top of the third--just in time for the Cubs to get a walk and three singles and score twice, all while they sat there. Heh. That'll teach 'em to jump the gun.

I was almost straight behind home plate. I probably shouldn't dispose of my disposalable income so quickly...but too bad. The section in front of that, 115, they actually armband people, presumably so they don't have to check tickets all the time to slow up the people who want to sneak in. But, given that someone comes constantly and stands in the aisle taking orders and bringing food and beer, getting in the way of people behind them, they shouldn't have to leave anyway.

There was a foul ball off of the press box that landed one row behind me and four seats over. The usher down there has green and yellow cards to hold up to indicate either that everyone's fine or they need assistance after such an event.

With the game tied going into the top of the 8th, Aramis Ramirez led off. I got to shout at him, and possibly be heard, "All for one!" Given that he homered that at bat, and I got to shout "One for all!" as he crossed the plate, those of you who think I'm a collossal dork for doing that will just have to put up with it for the rest of my life. The inning also featured Jerry Hairston missing a squeeze sign, but Jeromy Burnitz scoring when catcher Gary Bennett dropped a return throw. Since Henry Mateo missed a bunt on a squeeze attmept in the second inning, I saw two blown squeezes while in perfect position to appreciate them. That was pretty cool.

Given that error and another when Corey Patterson hit a dribbler that no one could get to and pitcher Chad Cordero glove-shoveled it into right field, the Nats fans cleared out by the bottom of the ninth to the point where I think there were more Cubs fans left...who had to endure Kremlin Emigre try to give the game away. But the wind helped knock down Jose Guillen's bid for a walk-off slam and Wellemeyer got the save. New Cubs closer? We'll see....

The Amazing Race 7--"5 Continents, 25 Cities, and more than 40,000 Miles"

...but no International Date Line.

I'm sure I'll enjoy this, but I'm about TARred out. I think perhaps one per year is best for both the viewers and the production staff.

Le Week-end

Just a grab-bag of things I wanted to talk about...

Saw Hitchhiker's on Friday. Verdict: very good but not great. That's ok; there are plenty of media in which it IS great. It did well in the box office grosses for the opening weekend, but I don't think it will have any legs for those not in on the joke.

I was not the only one at the screening carrying a towel.

I also carried the same towel to Saturday night's Nationals game, to wipe off the seat and through over my head, and also in case the mascot turned out to really be a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. The free program that the Post prints speculated that the mascot was the result of a tryst between the Expos' old mascot, Youppi, and the (previously unknown to be female) bored Washington Capitals' mascot, Slapshot. As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up. Unfortunately my proof was destroyed in the rain. Also, the parenthetical above was not my insertion, but explicitly mentioned in the article. Apparently it is somewhat of a tradition for Washington-based eagle mascots to have surprisingly explicit origins.

We had the historic first rain delay, and the hilarious second, before the game proved incapable, meteorologically speaking, of resumption. The second delay was hilarious because they were uncapable of moving the tarp over the infield once they rolled it out for the second time, apparently because they folded it the wrong way the first time. But they took several running starts at it, damn near ripping out shoulders, and a couple of times almost losing guys under the tarp. The remaining fans were cheering, chanting "Let's go tarp guys!" and "Let's go grounds crew,", and (like me) getting soaked to watch this spectacle. By the time they got the tarp on about 35 min. after the delay started, the infield was puddled up and there was no way they would restart play. The Mets are protesting, as they had just gotten back to 5-3 in the top of the 8th, while the Nats are saying the game should have been stopped before that due to field conditions.

Also, Joey Eischen got hurt tonight, it looked like he fell on his wrist. This is too bad, as he's quite the quote machine. He's already made remarks about the rest of the division not being able, as they'd figured, to "unzip their trousers and urinate on" the Nationals, and this lovely little soundbite about what Orioles' owner Peter Angelos can do about the Nats' regional live and tv popularity.

The Amazing Race 7--"The Devil Made Me Do It"

And the Amazing Run-To-The-Line-And-Back continues. Cue Wilhite's rant.

The Amazing Race 7--"We Got a Gnome! We Got A Gnome"

I'd make a joke about a Travelocity cross-promotion...except it's probably not a joke.

Instead I'll link to Gnome, gnome, gnome, gnomes, and Gnomes of Zurich.

Also, I'll remind you that this week features Kelly's psychotic break with reality.

The Amazing Race 7--"We Have a Bad Elephant"

Enough with the elephants. I'm not watching "Babar."

Forty-five Thousand, Five Hundred Ninety-Six

is the number of souls who saw the Washington Nationals home opener--yours truly included. Livan Hernandez pitched a great game until running out of gas in the ninth, and they won 5-3. (BTW, check out Livan's real first name...)

I also went to today's game, where RFK Stadium was rocking when the Nats rallied for 6 in the bottom of the seventh to win 7-3. Literally rocking--apparently dating back to the days when the Ethnic Slurs played there, the fans will jump up and down and set a wave in motion in the structure. Makes me glad to have those upper deck seats...

RFK looks like it might play as a bigtime triples park. It's 410 ft. to center and 380 to the power alleys, so it's tough to get one out but there's a lot of room for the ball to roll. In small sample size, I've seen none-too-fleet-of-foot Vinny Castilla and Nick Johnson smack triples. This will be good; triples are fun.

Castilla, incidentally, is becoming a local hero, despite being one of my least favorite players of the last ten years. (I just think he's overrated by virtue of playing at Planet Coors a lot and hardly ever walking.) But on Opening Night he was a single short of the cycle (he got plunked the fourth time up), had a key double Saturday and scored the tying run today. My first Nats T-shirt has Brad Wilkerson's name and number on the back, but he ain't done jack at home yet.

Today they unveiled the mascot--someone contain my unbridled joy--and it's a bald eagle that really looks like a chicken. I mean, its beak is not ripping appart prey, I tell you that. Sam from the Muppets looked more realistic. Oh, and its name: Screech. I mean, I knew Dustin Diamond needed work, but geez...

It's kind of a pain in the butt to upload individual pictures, so I'm making a zip file (which includes a text file describing the photos) of pictures from opening night and a few from my seat today, which is my season-long location. Warning: it's just shy of 5MB, so it's Not Safe For Dial-Up. But you want documentation, it takes space, baby.

Talking Baseball

Blogger is suppose to have this publish-by-email feature, but I wrote an email last Monday and it ain't showed yet. Suffice to say: I feel Opening Day should be a Federal holiday. Let's dump President's Day. February is too short to need a day off, and baseball is way more important that Presidents.

I started umping in the Central Springfield Little League, which started its season this weekend. I managed to commit my yearly spring suncreen blunder; fortunately I was wearing long pants and a face mask so the damage is primarily forearm in nature. I was only umping 9 year olds, who do not throw hard enough to injure even though I took one off the mask, three or four off of the chest protector, a few off of the shin guards and a dozen off the shoes. I am not bruised but I am sore from hunkering to call the strike zone and I may have tweaked my elbow calling strikes. Not that I had to call many strikes--the kids, pitching for the first time, were lucky to get it between the batters boxes. Which of course led to the prolonged hunkering and resultant aching quads.

The Nationals home opener is Thursday night, they did a nice job with the tickets. Here's the Opening Night ticket and the Season ticket book (as well as the tickets themselves). They've played some exciting ball early so it should be a fun year.

I've been enjoying the preview of the MLB Extra Innings package. I've thought of paying for it with the money I didn't spend on the NHL Center Ice package, but judging by the flipping I've been doing just to catch at bats by guys on my fantasy team, I think that's a recipe for never getting off the couch.

P.S. Spellcheck tried to replace "NHL" with "NIL", which is about right. Also, it tried to replace umping with "humping", which, if you'll note the placement of "umping" above, would have been really bad.

The Amazing Race 7--"Mow'em Down Like Grass"

In high school, during some meaningless trivia quiz in our Current World Affairs course, one of the guys on another team told mine that we were "going down like a sunken ship."

I Remember California

See? Wait long enough to do this and you get another song title. I regret not being able to title a post "City at Night" (we stayed in Wed.; everyone was beat) and that I never made the Macarthur park trip happen (weather was too iffy).

Other notes:

I got two new food preparation suggestions from the visit. First was being sold outside the Lakers and Clippers games--bacon-wrapped hot dogs. I may have been the only one not disgusted by the concept, and even I didn't trust the cookie-sheet-over-god-knows-what-heat-source frying method. But I intend to make one here. I also intend to make this item that I was unwilling to pay $13 for on the room service menu: vanilla flapjacks. Yum.

What else didn't I mention...one night it looked like they were filming a scene of something in one of the nameless office buildings. They had security out there from morning till night; but that was the day it poured. My room was up on the VIP floor or something; it was no different from Adam's but we had to use our room key to get the elevator to go to the top floors--the dee-luxe apartments in the sky.

And the last talks I saw: the cold fusion crackpots. Ayeee. So much bad science. It's like cleansing the palate; I can come back here and get real work done.

The Amazing Race 7--"Houston, We Have an Elephant"

Really? We can't do better than THAT for a title? Puh-leeze. Did they film this leg in 1995?

Things you should see

Courtesy Metafilter, so you may have seen them, but anyway:

--Andy Maskin's living will, conceding power to decide continuation of life should he find himself in persistent vegetative state to the United States Congress. Notable primarily for the elaborate and ridiculous tiebreaking procedures.

--Songs in list format. For example, part of "Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)":

# Things which we don't need:

* no education
* no thought control
* no dark sarcasm in the classroom

# Things the having of which is dependent upon the eating of meat:

* pudding


Scroll through the pages for "Rainy Day Women #12 and 35" (aka "Everybody Must Get Stoned"), "Why Does the Sun Shine?", "500 Miles", "Love Shack", "Closer"...you can find the rest.

"It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" turns out not to be that good except for this:

Le

* onard Bernstein
* onid Breshnev
* nny Bruce

o Not afraid

* ster Bangs

"Stand" works nice though.

Somebody did "We Didn't Start the Fire" but didn't segregate it by year (as the liner notes do). Alright, I'm done scrolling for now, your favorites are probably in there.

EDIT: On page 20, somebody alphabetized "We Didn't Start the Fire."
Brilliant!

The Amazing Race 7--"I've Been Wanting a Face-Lift for a Long Time"

I do want to see the old couple go, but not like that.

Although, I'd rather see Ray and Deana go first.

And it will probably be non-elimination anyway.

Sex drives technology

Yes, stem cells could cure paralysis, Alzheimer's, diabetes , the organ shortage...but let's use them to make breast implants.

In all seriousness, I do suppose this provides a market to fund the technological advancement, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I do think about the collection of new impotence drugs in comparison to the dearth of new antibiotics, and wonder if letting the Invisible Hand advance development is enough...

Leaving Los....Er..

There's a "Leaving Las Vegas" and a "Leaving New York" but I can't think of an LA one. I do have a lot of grab bag type notes to make, but checkout is in an hour so look for them sometime this weekend.

Adam's talk went well, and then I snuck off to see the cold fusion crackpots. Aiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!! I will write more on that this weekend too.

I really didn't see as much of LA as you'd like, but it really is supposed to be a conference and not a vacation. Also, you can't get anywhere, say the way you can in Montreal or Seattle, without auto transport and a major investment of time. Oh well.

They're expecting more storms today, so hopefully my plane will get out. It's United 202 if you want to keep tabs on me.

It will be good to be home. I hear there's sun in DC; apparently there's none in SoCal.

Melting in the Dark

Yes, at the suggestion of Brian W., I'm making you contemplate this horrible song. I'm only about 1.3 miles away, but it is indeed raining right now and I don't have a cake to leave out. I'll never have that recipe again...

(EDIT: I forgot to mention the untruth of this other Brian W. suggestion:
It Never Rains in Southern California)

It is in fact pouring, and there's been lightning, which I think doesn't happen out here very often. This killed our afternoon plans to lounge in the outdoor pool. In fact, it appears I may be staring rain in the face the rest of the time out here. Yep, Sunny California...and the news just said there was a 3.4 earthquake near Manhattan Beach. Never felt it. I sort of would like to feel a mild one, just to know what it was like. Add that to my hurricane junkie status, and you might think I'm a disaster maven. I hereby swear that I want to experience none of the following:

House Fire
Stampede (human or animal)
Workplace Shooting
Industrial Accident
Nuclear/Biological/Chemical weapons
Direct Tornado hit (though seeing the funnel cloud might be cool)
Bank Robbery
Jeb Bush presidency

Didn't see much at APS today, though the talks from the Nagel Lab @ UC were good. The Grier Group reunion dinner is tonight, though we may be swimming there...I'll see if I can get pictures to post. I did write to Congress to encourage them to fund science. You should, too, so I will get to stay employed.

Hotel Kahl--ee--fawrn--ee--ah

Bring yur ahleebyes...

I just saw a commercial promoting The Governator's education policy, featuring the Austrian goofball himself. I have officially left the country, if not the planet.

The talk went well today, if a little long. But I was smooth and the questions were good, so it's cool. I may now commence with the part-ay.

I did find out next year's meeting is in Baltimore, which is disappointing because I can go to Baltimore any frickin' weekend I want. And it won't have hockey, continuing the pattern of concentrating all March Meeting hockey fun into last year:

98 Minneapolis (before the Wild started)
99 Atlanta (we didn't go)
00 Seattle
01 Indianapolis
02 Austin (even the "Ice Bats" were out of town)
03 Montreal (OK, that was fun)
04 LA (yes there's a team that plays 5 blocks away...but we knew there wasn't going to be a season)
05 Baltimore

Also continuing a March meeting trend, the poster I specifically went to see in a poster session wasn't up. I wouldn't have walked back to the Convention Center at all except for that...

Speaking of hotels, the Wilshire Grand is current Hatblog headquarters, with wireless in the rooms, two bathrooms in the suites (nice for two people)...pretty cool. No pink champagne on ice, though. I was going to go to the pool when done blogging, but I was distracted watching my fantasy baseball team run out of healthy limbs, so I guess that makes me a prisoner of my own device.

OK, I'll take song nominations to work into the next few posts in the comments. All I've got left is "I love L.A." and "L.A. Woman." And since I don't think I love L.A...I may have to switch to movies and make some Lebowski references or something.

This ain't no disco...

This ain't no country club either.

This is L.A.

Expect this kind of inanity all week, as I blog from the APS March Meeting is Los Angeles, California. Hey, it's called for. I stumbled across "California Dreamin" by the Mamas and the Papas twice last week, and Adam saw a documentary on PBS by the same name. I'm not sure we're safe and warm.

The flight out was OK, except the in-flight movie was The Incredibles, which I'd ran out and bought last Tuesday so I could have it on the flight.

We'll definitely be blowing our per diem, as everything we've seen in downtown LA is hideously expensive. Although we haven't tried the fast food or chain restaurants, which weren't open Sunday night. I wouldn't be surprised to drop $20 at Denny's though, just on location.

We had to walk past the Staples Center, where the Lakers were playing last night, to get to the convention center and register. There were numerous ticket scalpers, several street vendors appearing to fry hot dogs wrapped in bacon on heated cookie sheets, a one woman handing out cards good for a free topless lap dance. (Not from her, or at least not right there.) And bunches of dorks already wearing their badges. Stop it, people! This is how we get a bad name. Do not wear your badges outside. I decree it.

We did find an über-trendy bar. We had to go up an escalator, wait for an elevator where a video was projected on the wall, making me think of the Museum of Contemporary Art, and then ride an elevator to the roof. The bar on the roof featured movies projected on another building (including The Incredibles again), odd decor such as red hippopotamus trash cans, 3 covered waterbeds in one section, and lots of people trying to be cooler than they probably are. And eight dorky physicists, who really didn't even try to be cooler than we were. Oh, and a $12 (!) Glenlivet. I enjoy Scotch enough to forget that I spent an insane amount of money on one drink, but only after I actually drank it. I remember now, though. (!)

My talk is later this morning, so hopefully tonight's update will contain a positive status report.

The Amazing Race 7--"What a Gaucho You Are"

Expect me to stay clear of the comments until I return from LA (see above).

The Amazing Race 7--" Do You Need Some Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation"

Depends who's asking...

The Amazing Race 7--"The Whole Country Hates Me"

What? Jonathan's back?

Snow alert!

Here's an article about how hopped up on panic goofballs the DC metro
area got yesterday over an impending snowstorm. Supposedly, it was
supposed to start at 1am Monday and by the late afternoon anywhere
from 4-10 in. would be on the ground. The upper range of that is a
fair bit of snow, but the lower...not so scary. Unless you're from
the frickin' South, like I am now (more on that in another post)

Anyway, schools were cancelled Sunday night, and I woke up at 8 in
anticipation of a snow day...and not a flake had fallen. The schools
were still closed, mind you, and federal agencies were on an
"unscheduled leave" policy (i.e. they weren't closed, but you could
take a vacation day without having given prior notice of intent to do
so.) Without a flake on the ground. The only flakes were the
newscasters, whom the WaPo skewers in this
piece of satire.

It did start snowing...once I got out of the car at work. The
District officially got 2.5, and parts got up to 5 inches. What gets
me is the above article is the back-and-forth bitching by the parents
and schools. The schools begged off responsibility, saying they could
only go by the forecast. Um, folks, real winter weather places
actually haul their butts out of bed at 4am and decided then. Like
you morons should be doing. The parents, meanwhile, are complaining
b/c we also had snow days last week, and they're out of ways to occupy
their kids. Oh, and that they're "eating them out of house and home."
Um, folks, turn in your children and your parenting licenses
immediately. You create life, you're responsible for it, not the
school district. Public schools are not supposed to be babysitting
your kids--no wonder they're going to hell, if this is the parental
attitude. Take "unscheduled leave" and play with your kids in the
park, or make Popsicle stick houses or play Sorry! or Chutes and
Ladders or something. Make them a grilled cheese sandwich, 3 days
worth of which is not busting your budget. Teach them to do it
themselves, if they're old enough.

Should I get to be a father, I hope like hell I never start expressing
attitudes like I read about here.

The Amazing Race 7--"Courteous? This is a Race!"

Here we go again...and I can't say that quote makes me think we have fewer heels this time around. But maybe it's just one team. I, personally, will be hoping that that the Survivor couple hangs around awhile so I can hate them. They've won enough money, but if they go out too soon I won't be able to have fun rooting against them...

Season 7 commences Tuesday at 9pm, for another 2 hour premiere... presumably camping in the Andes.

Checking In

Ay, it's been too long since I really wrote anything. Been busy, trip to Chicago, and was sick this week.

I meant to blog a while ago that I found the used bookstore and went nuts, picking up copies of Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon and Snow Crash, the "uncut" version of Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land (though I assume, like most things, that restoring material makes it a little less cohesive), a copy of Edwin A. Abbott's Flatland and three Bradbury short story collections. I also found the comic store on the way home and picked up Alan Moore's From Hell and The Essential Harlan Ellison. This should keep me busy fora while. I have now finished Snow Crash which I really liked, although like most not-quite-perfect sci-fi books it invents a world it can't quite wrap up. But it's quite the interesting world he's conjured up.

We got sent home early from work due to the 3-5 inches of snow. Since I've been sick and not sleeping well, I just came home and crashed. Horray to two-hour naps. Schools didn't even open today, having been canceled before the snow started. Wusses.

Getting My Hockey Fix

With the NHL officially about to call it a year, I decided to get my live hockey fix somewhere last weekend. Turns out the closest home game on Sunday was the Reading Royals of Reading, PA, a 3 hour drive. (It's pronounced "Redding" or like the past tense of "Reading", btw. I suppose if it were "Reeding", the team would have to be the Reading Rainbows and the uniforms would be a little too Queer Eye for the working class town.)

Reading is in the ECHL, essentially two levels down from this NHL everyone keeps telling me about. And the play was about that level. Toledo, a Red Wings farm club, played the night before (although so did Reading, but not as far away) and they gift-wrapped more pucks than the Sutter family as Reading won 6-2. But it was still a fun night--for $15, I was right on the blue line, four rows back. Now if only it didn't cost me $22 in gas to get there...

The Amazing Race 6--"4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles"

Here's the finale. And here's to a less whiny Season 7, as well.

Bold Predictions:

First half: Hayden & Aaron, Kris & Jon, Freddy & Kendra, Adam & Rebecca
Second: Kris & Jon, Freddy & Kendra, Hayden & Aaron

Super Bowl Prop Bets--for entertainment only, no wagering

Football Outsiders has their usual runthrough of Super Bowl Prop Bets. You can risk moolah on some stupid, stupid things.

The Amazing Race 6--"You Deal With This Before I Hyperventilate"

Down the stretch they come--and they have to stop at the final turn to be bunched.

"This does rule out the terrifying possibility of an unkillable zombie Bin Laden though."

Courtesy BigBrainBoy via Fark, the latest CNN high point.

Map your typewriter to USB

This is the coolest hack I've ever seen.

The Amazing Race 6--"It Always Comes Down to the Details"

I've got no interesting text for this space. Other than that I'll take the Patriots and lay the points in two weeks.

Battle Stations!

WHDH-TV - Boston - The News Station had a great weather update.

Courtesy Fark, where a copy of it was helpfully copied for when it gets pushed off of the Boston page.

Middle America, Meet the Law of Unintended Consequences

Defense attorneys in Ohio are using the new anti-gay marriage amendment to challenge domestic violence charges where the perpetrator was not married to his victim. The reasoning? The law affords marriage-like legal status to the unmarried victims, which is now an unconstitutional behavior.

Nice, real nice.

The Amazing Race 6--"Are There Instructions on Donkey Handling?"

Oh, this one's just too easy:

--You mean someone on the Race doesn't know how to find their ass with both hands?
--If there are, Victoria could use some...

You try! It's fun!

Lockdown

They're pretty much shutting down DC (WaPost, login req.) for the inagural a week from tommorrow. I found this quote from Ridge telling:

"Our goal is that any attempt on the part of anyone or any group to disrupt the inaugural will be repelled by multiple layers of security."

Note: not "kill Americans" or "committ a terrorist act" but "disrupt the inagural." You can't help but feeling this is as much about protestors as it is al-Qaeda.

They have a map up here. There aren't too many actual residences effected; just some over by State in the "partially" closed to traffic zone. Government offices are closing for the most part--even I have the day off. And, of course, the cost is being passed on to the Distrcit itself. But spare no expense for the fortunate son.

The Amazing Race 6--"Tell My Mom I Love Her!"

"And that I'm a giant pansy!"

New term coinage

Most of you know my fledging few-date adventure has ended, and not of my initiative. I didn't really consider this serious enough to use the term "dumped", but didn't have another term, either.

After some kicking around with Mike of goatdogblog, he proposed the term "released." I like it and propose its immediate adoption for the ending of relationships greater than one or two dates and less than calling yourselves "boyfriend/girlfriend" or equivalent.

Suffering in Triplicate, or My New State Sucks

Apparently, some asswipe Republican has proposed a law that would make it a Class 1 misdemeanor for women to fail to report miscarriages--within twelve hours of the awful event. This would include all the clinical data that would be taken by a medical professional in the event of a fetal death--even if you didn't see a doctor, or didn't see one right away. Other Class 1 misdemeanors? Statutory rape, providing alcohol to minors, carrying a concealed weapon while under the influence, and stalking. (all taken from the link, which does better than I'm going to do here.

Why put this burden on the suffering mother? Presumably, the article states, to advance the notion of the unborn as persons, whose deaths are worth noting. I don't get why anti-abortion activists would think they can change the minds of those who have decided the rights of the mother are more important by submitting the naturally miscarried to bureaucractic processing.

I'll do my part to make my voice heard here, but I wanted to alert you if this comes to your state anytime soon.

H-Dog in da State Department

This Fark threadis headlined by an observation that the new Deputy Sec. of State bears a resemblance to Onion columnist Herbert Kornfeld.

Scroll down the thread to see "nominations" of other columnists to other posts, such as T. Herman Zwiebel to the treasury.

Well, I found it funny, anyway.

In case of attack...

Get yourselves and family to the underground shelter. Oh, and don't forget portraits of Fearless Leader.

No, not that one.

You know, when reading the main story, my bullshit detector actually set off. But with North Korea, who really knows? I'm tempted to write some complete piece of crap as a "leak" from North Korea and see if anyone notices.

The Amazing Race 6--"One of You, I'm Gonna Break in Half"

And, we return to actual racing. I think.

My current guess is that the rest of the leg will take the rest of this episode--keep in mind they got $400, and where have they spent it? I'm thinking that the leg is running more than 24 hours and they gave them money for food and a room. The train back to Budapest couldn't have been that much, could it?

Larry has already called Adam offering to jump off of the bridge. I mistakenly guessed earlier this leg that Adam would offer to lie down in the road.